Loss: Identity, Purpose and Joy
Today’s blog is by guest writer, Nicole Elizabeth Smith who is a cousin of End Slavery Tennessee staff member Stacy Elliott. Ms. Smith has been using her talents to inform and inspire anti-trafficking advocacy for several years, including doing the artwork of the film, “Eight Days.” Her latest ventures include providing a variety of resources to promote identity and purpose that leads to joy-filled lives.
By: Nicole Elizabeth Smith, President & Co-Founder, The Treetop Clubhouse
Memorial Day commemorates the loss of military personnel, recognizing their sacrifice and honoring their memory. Loss can be difficult to understand or explain, especially for individuals who have not experienced it. Though, at some point in our lives, we will all endure the pain of loss. Unfortunately, some will have this experience more frequently than others.
Persons who have been trafficked certainly tend to have a significant history of losses and, not only the loss of life but many other types of losses as well. Trafficking has stolen bits and pieces of a survivor’s identity, purpose and joy.
When a person is trafficked, there is a harsh psychological impact that can change the way an individual sees themselves, including their value and identity. An individual can experience both short and long-term adverse psychological effects that can lead to mental health concerns. Trafficking takes place through force, fraud, or coercion, all of which are forms of manipulation that leave the person questioning who and what they can trust. This type of abuse perpetuates feelings of shame, learned helplessness, and mistrust which takes time and a lot of work to overcome.
In this article, we will be discussing three major types of loss experienced by sex trafficking survivors – but this list, by no means is all-inclusive, since loss comes in many shapes and forms.
Loss of Identity.
For many survivors, their identity can feel fragmented. There was a life and “self” that they knew before being trafficked, there was a life and “self” they became while being trafficked, and then there is the aftermath. This can leave people asking, “Who am I?” and “Where do I belong” and “What’s next?” People often ground themselves in their career, education, family, hometown, etc., but when stripped of these things people can be left wondering who they are. For individuals coming out of the sex trafficking industry, it is not as simple as “going back to the way things were.” There is a period, a potentially painful one, which requires learning new ways of existing and understanding the depths of who they are.
An easy way to think of this is like a canvas that starts completely blank. As time goes on, a painting is portrayed filling the blank space with all types of colors and shapes. The canvas will never be able to return to the state it was in before, but new brush strokes can be added to create a completely new work of art. People are the same way – just like “canvases,” we start our lives as a blank slate. As events and experiences happen to us, both positive and negative, they add “paint” to us that make us different from everyone else. The person can never return to who they were before the “paint,” but they can add new colors and shapes to create a beautiful masterpiece.
Loss of Purpose.
After regaining their sense of freedom and autonomy that was stolen by the ones who were trafficking them, another important topic to address is “purpose.” This is defined as the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. People long to feel valued and that they play a role in life that is necessary and needed by others. Survivors may find fulfillment in many different areas, but often long to help other people overcome hurdles that they too have faced. This much-needed work may look like raising awareness about trafficking and advocating for social change. It may look like helping other survivors by connecting them with experts in the field, beneficial resources, and mental health professionals. It could even look like providing platforms for survivors to share their stories.
Loss of Joy.
Feelings and emotions are foundational to who we are as humans. When our identity and purpose are brought into question, we may experience lots of different feelings ranging from confusion to fear to anger. There are two key emotions, though, that are critical to understand. Joy and grief. These two serve as an internal compass – joy tends to increase as grief decreases, and vice versa. Joy can increase as someone feels fulfillment. When our identity and purpose are stripped, grief increases. This loss of joy can be burdensome, potentially leading to hopelessness if not properly dealt with.
The wonderful thing about human beings, though, is that despite loss, trauma, and pain – we can overcome, heal, and thrive again. We have the opportunity to rediscover who we are and what we are made to do at any point in our story. With time and work, we can learn to recognize our feelings and emotions and understand how joy and grief are related. This Memorial Day, and every day, our hearts are with all of those who have experienced loss, whether it be material or intangible.
Ms. Smith is the president and co-founder of The Treetop Clubhouse. For the last decade, Nicole has studied Eastern, rabbinic teaching methods, including Hebrew literary writing. She is the author of multiple publications, screenplays, and books, including I'm an Overcomer, which is available on Amazon. Nicole loves finding creative ways to share Wisdom and hope with people of all ages who are struggling with identity, purpose, mental health, and more. In 2018, Nicole wrote, directed, and produced a short film about suicide, and in 2013, was the assistant art director for a feature film about Child Sex Trafficking in Dallas, TX. She has her MA in Digital Media Production, BA in Mass Communication with a concentration in PR & Advertising, and AA in Graphic Arts.
The Treetop Clubhouse is a non-profit organization with a heart to help people of all ages and walks of life overcome the obstacles they face in order to live joy-filled lives. We do this by providing educational resources and tools based on foundation truths that promote identity and purpose. For more information about The Treetop Clubhouse or to learn about joy and grief, visit treetopclubhouse.org.